


SÖMNIG

by Maiuzan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, trapped in ikea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8013166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiuzan/pseuds/Maiuzan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo and Bokuto fall asleep in Ikea. When they wake up, the store is already closed. How will they handle the situation?</p>
            </blockquote>





	SÖMNIG

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iwazilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwazilla/gifts).



> for my bro Hanz!
> 
> -ikea, please don't sue me-

Tetsurou woke up to the sound of soft snoring next to him.  _ Strange,  _ he thought, since he didn’t remember going to bed. Surprisingly, there was none of the sluggishness he normally felt in his body after he woke up. Instead, he was quite rested, as if he’d taken a power nap at the best moment.

The snoring got louder next to him, so he pushed his face further into the pillow to tune out the sound. His pillow smelled so fresh and new, the cleanliness of it almost easing him back to sleep. But that was kind of weird, because laundry day was tomorrow, so for his pillow to smell so clean…

With his face still hidden in the cotton, Tetsurou started feeling around, looking for something familiar to identify his location with. Maybe they’d ended up in Bokuto’s half-empty apartment after they had finished shopping for furniture? Tetsurou’s left hand found something, which was strangely enough attached to the pillowcase. It felt like plastic, cracking under his touch. Maybe a candy wrapper? If that were the case, then they were definitely in Bokuto’s apartment.

Curious, Tetsurou raised his head to check it out. He was holding a label. The label read ‘SÖMNIG’.

Within a second, Tetsurou was wide awake.

He flipped around, and sat up in the bed. Next to him, Bokuto was still sound asleep, pulling at the fluffy comforter that Tetsurou had pulled with him when he got up. They were in a stylish bedroom, and a giant bookcase was shielding them from the main aisle, probably the reason why they had not been discovered yet. The main lights were out, and only the green light of the emergency exit sign illuminated the showroom.

Tetsurou dropped his head. It was true. They were locked inside Ikea.  

“Bo, wake up.” He nudged Bokuto in his side, who only responded with a hitch in his snoring. 

With a rough tug, Tetsurou pulled the comforter off him, exposing him to the cold climate-controlled air of the store. “Bokuto,” Tetsurou whispered, “you gotta wake up. And don’t freak out.”

Bokuto slowly stirred awake and rubbed his eyes. “Why would I freak out?” he asked, as he took in his surroundings. For a second, Tetsurou had some hope, but it was quickly shattered when Bokuto opened his mouth again. “Oh my god they’re gonna arrest us!” he yelled, his sleep hoarse voice echoing through the empty showroom. 

Tetsurou quickly covered Bokuto’s mouth with his hand. “Shut. Up,” he hissed through his teeth. Normally, Bokuto would stick out his tongue or blow raspberries against Tetsurou’s hand, but now, probably understanding the seriousness of the situation, he only nodded.

Tetsurou pulled back his hand and started thinking. He vaguely remembered them checking out the room they were currently in, and testing out the mattress, approximately an hour before the store closed. The security cameras had most likely registered them, so Tetsurou could probably convince the staff that they hadn’t hid somewhere a few minutes before closing time on purpose. Also, despite that they were out of sight from the main aisle, it was still a case of bad security that they hadn’t checked in the blind spots. Yes, Tetsurou was certain now, he could talk them out of this.

He slammed his hand down on the bed. “Okay, we are gonna find a security guard and get out of here. Everything will be fine.”

“What about the emergency exit?” Bokuto suggested, his eyes shifting wearily to the green sign. 

“No way, I’m pretty sure the alarm will go off if we go through there.” Tetsurou checked his phone and noted that it was already way past midnight.

“Won’t know until we try.”

“Not risking it.” Tetsurou shimmied off the bed and offered his hand to Bokuto. “Come on, get up.”

Reluctantly, Bokuto took it, and Tetsurou hoisted him up onto his feet. 

Tetsurou leaned against the bookcase that had been hiding them earlier, and poked his head out to check if there was anyone there. There was nobody, and the abandoned store looked kind of eerie in the dark. He nodded at Bokuto to show that the coast was clear, and then, on their toes, they walked into the open space, following the big arrows on the floor.

“Hey, why are we being stealthy? Aren’t we trying to find the security guard?” Bokuto asked.

They made the turn into the kids section. “Yeah, but we shouldn’t scare them, or anything. Don’t want them to call the cops before we can explain ourselves.” A giant plush giraffe sat in the corner of one of the children’s bedroom showcases, and it gave Tetsurou goosebumps. He had been scared of the dark when he was a kid, but was pretty sure he was over that now. Was he?

Distracted by his own foolishness, he hadn’t noticed that Bokuto was no longer next to him. Tetsurou looked over his shoulder and saw that Bokuto stood frozen a few meters behind him. “Bo, you okay?”

“What if the cops  _ do  _ come?”

“Then we’ll be home a bit later, but otherwise–” Tetsurou noticed a sheen of sweat on Bokuto’s forehead. “Dude, they’re not gonna arrest you.”

“Well, what if they taser me, huh? Then what?” Bokuto pulled on his hair. “That’s like, a thousand volts, Kuroo. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like a lot? What if it kills me?”

Tetsurou realized that Bokuto must have been watching too many police shows again. Normally, he’d bully Bokuto a bit, but now his breaths were coming in short and his eyes were wide. He had to do something before it turned into a full-blown panic attack. “Bokuto, look at me. I’m gonna get us out of here, okay? Unscathed.”

Bokuto’s brows dropped, and Tetsurou was pretty sure that he was about to cry. “I’m too handsome to go to prison, bro.” 

Just when Tetsurou was about to step closer to Bokuto to calm him down, the sound of footsteps and dangling keys sounded in the distance.

All the color drained from Bokuto’s face. Weakly, he lifted his fists and got into a fighting stance. Which would have been hilarious, if it had happened in any other situation than the one they were currently in.

“Bokuto,” Tetsurou hissed, a bit too loud. “Act normal.”

The footsteps came closer, and Bokuto was still standing there, with his fists raised, shaking. A drop of sweat ran down his temple.

Tetsurou looked between Bokuto, and the direction the sound was coming from, and suddenly found himself not knowing what to do. Hide Bokuto? Knock him out? 

Unfortunately, Bokuto made the decision for him. When the unknown person almost rounded the corner to where they were standing, Bokuto shouted, “You’ll never catch me alive!” and dove into a plastic playing castle. 

Then, that someone came into view. Quickly, he shone his flashlight directly in Tetsurou’s face, and then to Bokuto’s legs, which were sticking out of the pink and green castle. 

Tetsurou lifted his hands. “Hello, we mean no harm. Me and my friend here got locked inside.” The guard lowered his flashlight, and thankfully looked confused instead of hostile. Tetsurou noticed how young the man was, and hoped he was still a rookie. He just wanted to talk his way home as soon as possible.

The guard aimed his light at Bokuto again, who was still unmoving in the castle, probably not knowing of how far his legs stuck out. “Is he okay?” the guard asked.

Tetsurou chuckled at the man’s genuine concern. “He thought you were gonna have him arrested. You’re not going to, are you?”

The man quickly shook his head, his blue cap almost coming off. “Hell no. The fact that you’re here can cost me my job.” 

“If you stay quiet, we’ll stay quiet too.” Tetsurou nodded at the guard, and he nodded back at him in agreement. 

Tetsurou kicked one of Bokuto’s legs. “Come out, Bo. Coast is clear.”

“You sure he doesn’t have mace?” Bokuto shouted, his voice echoing from inside the castle.

“Mace? The fuck–” Tetsurou kicked him again, not so gently this time. “Bokuto, you’re embarrassing me, come out.”

Eventually, after some more persuading, Bokuto crawled out, face flushed. The guard snuck them out the back door, and even gave them some coupons as hush money. Bokuto had been quiet with his head held down throughout the whole thing, probably a bit ashamed of his unnecessary behavior. 

Once they were at a safe difference from the blue building, he let out a big sigh as if he had been holding his breath. “That was so scary. I was sure that was gonna be the end of me.”

Tetsurou flipped through his coupons. There were quite a lot. “This is gonna be such a good story to tell.”

Bokuto pouted. “Well I can’t stop you, just don’t make it too much about me. You were scared too.”

Tetsurou snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“All I know is that I’m never going back there.” Bokuto said with certainty.

Tetsurou huffed a laugh.The night was a bit chilly, so he could see his breath. Despite it being so late, Tetsurou didn’t feel tired at all. “I’m going back to buy that mattress,” he said.

Next to him, Bokuto paled.

 

**Author's Note:**

> maiuzan.tumblr.com


End file.
